It’s Thursday, that means it’s time for another thrilling episode of
BUT, WHAT I MEANT WAS…
ANNOUNCER: The exciting game where contestants apologize for fabulous prizes – aaaaand now everyone’s favorite host Jon Hostington!
JON HOSTINGTON: Starting a new business is stressful, and when things are really rough it’s easy to get carried away and say things that you really don’t mean. This week’s guest knows that all too well. Put your hands together for this week’s contestant Yumi!
ME: Hi world!
JON HOSTINGTON: It says here you’ve had a tough week – and maybe you’ve said some things that you regret.
ME: That’s true.
JON HOSTINGTON: Well, haven’t we all. You know the rules – we’ll tell you what you should have said – and you get points for telling the world what you really said. Are you ready?
ME: As ready as I’ll ever be.
JON HOSTINGTON: Round one. What you should have said was “Thank you for calling me to say the delivery will be late.” For ten points, tell us what you really said.
ME: Do I have to?
JON HOSTINGTON: No, but I’ll remind you that it’s worth ten points, and there is a prize at the end.
ME: Okay – here goes. I believe I said “Late?! LATE?! Your stupid face is late!”
JON HOSTINGTON: That’s…correct! Ten points – also, that’s a pretty terrible thing to say.
ME: I know. I know, I’m super sorry supplier guy, I don’t really think your face is stupid. I was just worried that if I didn’t get the ingredients in time I wouldn’t be able to have food for my customers in time for lunch. It wasn’t nice, at all.
JON HOSTINGTON: That sounded pretty sincere, hope you heard that, supplier guy. Round two. What you should have said was “Thank you for your opinion.”
ME: Right. Oh, the woman who told me that the bento place across the street was better. This one’s bad…here goes. I said “I couldn’t take someone wearing that outfit seriously if I tried.”
JON HOSTINGTON: Wow, that is really mean!
ME: I know…but she hurt my feelings – but still, it wasn’t right. Your outfit was fine, I’m sorry I was mean about it.
JON HOSTINGTON: I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear that. Now. Final round. This is the toughest round, are you ready? If you get this correct, you take home the prize!
ME: I guess so.
JON HOSTINGTON: What you should have said was “Miwako! It’s great to hear from you! How are you?”
ME: Oh. This is going to sound bad to the audience, I don’t know if I should…
JON HOSTINGTON: I’ll remind you that the grand prize is on the line.
ME: Ok. What I said was. “Whatever it is you’re going to say, why don’t you just shut up! I don’t have time for your or your whiny problems right now.”
JON HOSTINGTON: Wow…that’s a really terrible thing to say.
ME: I know. I know. She just makes me crazy some days! I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. It wasn’t very nice to say.
JON HOSTINGTON: Well that’s good enough. Congratulations, you win the prize!
ME: Hooray! What is the prize?
JON HOSTINGTON: The greatest prize of all, self respect.
ME: That is a stupid prize.
JON HOSTINGTON: And it looks like we’ll probably be seeing you back here next week too! Thanks for playing along at home!
Tl;dr It’s been a long week. I’ve said some things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry everyone. (_ _)